Absolute Filth is excited to finally release our new updated formulation for Northern Lights hockey wax. This new powerhouse formula has over 8-newton pounds of tacky-tensile strength. Applying it thickly, one can easily pick the puck up.
You have never seen anything like this and will change the game for good, with all kinds of new dazzling types of goals.
The Stickiest Hockey Wax in the barn.
While other brands will just slop cheap wax into a tin and call it good. The staff at Absolute Filth painstakingly cast our wax by hand into custom molds exclusive to Absolute Filth. After the wax is gently cooled it is placed into our hockey bag-resistant, steel tins with our exclusive sacrificial liner, making it easy to remove from the container for use.
Nor are we cheating by using a cheap sugar-based wax tackifier, which loses its tack once it gets wet like our competitors. Save that sugar wax for the pigeons. Northern Lights is truly crafted to a higher standard.
A higher standard started with gathering samples of all competing brands of wax.
Then using a force measurement machine, we collected piles of data on each brand's tackiness. After the materials analysis software did its calculations. The results showed that Absolute Filths, Northern Lights lived up to the title of, "King of Stick".
It absolutely dominated the field of sample waxes with 59% more tack strength than the nearest competitor.
